"Practicing What I Preach"

  "Poverty and affliction take away the fuel that feeds pride." -Richard Sibbes 
The definition of God's Sovereignty is God, as the ruler of the Universe, has the right to do whatever he wants. Further, he is in complete control over everything that happens. A few verses which speaks of God's sovereignty are;

Psalm 115:3 "Our God is in heaven and does whatsoever he pleases."

Daniel 4:35 all the inhabitants of the earth are accounted as nothing and he does according to his will among the host of heaven and among the inhabitants of the earth; and none can stay his hand  or say to him, “What have you done?”

Romans 9:20 But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?”

     Many of you who are reading this already knows our youngest son Dylan has been diagnosed with a rare type of diabetes. The name is diabetes insipidus. This type of diabetes affects the kidneys by not concentrating urine. Not only has he been diagnosed with this type of diabetes, doctors also have found that his bladder and kidneys are retaining urine and are not emptying completely. This past Friday, Dylan had exploratory surgery to see if he had any blockages in his urinary tract. The doctors found no blockages, then they proceeded to do an 'urodynamic test' on his bladder. The urodynamic test checks for the amount of pressure that is found on the bladder. What they found was Dylan's muscles, which surrounds the bladder are unable to release enough for him to empty his bladder. This has caused urine to back up into his kidneys causing damage over the past several years. 
     Dylan was supposed to go in the morning (Tuesday) back to Children's Hospital in Nashville to have a 'renal analysis' to determine the extent of the damages done to the kidneys. This morning his doctor called to tell me he wants to do a MRI first to eliminate any spinal damages, which would cause the nerves and muscles not to properly function in allowing the bladder to release. Although the MRI would detect or eliminate his concerns for a 'tethered' spinal cord, correcting the problem (if it is actually the cause) would only increase the chances for Dylan's bladder to function properly by 25%. Also, after the MRI is completed they will surgically place a catheter in Dylan's bladder in order to "empty and compress" his bladder. This will be left in for 7-10 days so the 'renal analysis' will not be skewed when the test are ran on his kidneys and the doctors can get a 'true' reading. The doctor also stated, "we should be preparing ourselves and Dylan to have a permanent catheterization in the near future, although it is not set in 'stone' yet."
     I say all of that to say this...I am struggling! I wish I could say, GOD is SOVEREIGN...have a nice day. I am struggling not because I do not like what is going on, as much as I am struggling because this is my 'little boy.' It breaks my heart as his father to see him weep over his condition. It breaks my heart to hear him cry at night when we pray together and he acknowledges to God, "You are able to fix this problem if it is Your will." It breaks my heart to see his mother weep over her sons condition and as a husband know there is nothing I can do. As a father and a husband I have tried by God's grace to teach my wife and children, through the Scriptures, God is SO much bigger than we are and "His ways are not our ways, just as His thoughts are above our thoughts (Isa.55:8)!" But, I am reminded God loves Dylan more than I ever will, for He created him. God cares for my family more than I will ever care for them, for He gave them to me, as a gift of His grace. This gives me comfort in resting in His sovereignty.
     So, it is here that I find myself as a husband, a father, a pastor who believes, preaches, and teaches in the absolute sovereignty of God, now it is time to live it, that is the hard part. I have often told the church at Pleasant Hill Baptist preaching and teaching on God's sovereignty is the easy part, the difficult part is when you have to 'practice what you preach.' I preach God's sovereignty because first of all, it is Biblical. Secondly, He is! But, how do we live out God's sovereignty in practical everyday life? I believe teaching and preaching God's sovereignty should be done, not when trials comes our way, but rather when things seem to be going well. This prepares us for the trials and tribulation that comes are way. Trial will for sure come, it is just a matter of when! God's sovereignty is like an anchor firmly placed at the bottom of the ocean floor ... hold on to it (God's sovereignty), trust in it, and as long as your grip is firm you will not be moved. 
     As I move forward as the husband and father of my family God has given me, I will lead us courageously in this journey, which God has sovereignly placed us on and I will by God's grace 'practice what I preach.' Praying every step of the way that the Beck family would bring great glory to our God who is loving, kind, gracious, and SOVEREIGN, even in the midst of health problems in our children! To God Alone Be the Glory!
Colossians 2:6-7, "Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught abounding in thanksgiving."